Why should I bother?

I have been thinking yesterday... while arriving home after a social activity, which by attending I was able to sponsor a new bed sheet for a friend of a friend of mine (long story, do not ask *g*)... and was asking myself this question:

Why should I bother making something special out of my life?

And I tell you honestly, so far, I have no clue. I really do not know why I should bother making a difference in the world... creating a better place or such... I mean, I am living in balance with myself and the world... I am not bothering anyone, I am a pacifist, I do separate my garbage, I work my hours, I pay my taxes, I am tolerant towards others, I also state my point if I feel that it is important for me or others, I love my family and friends... I am quite happy with myself and thus do not feel like there is a need for going out and preaching my way to others. Also, where would I take the right to do so? To impose my private believes and values upon others?

This is a very strange thing for me to write like this... and a very strange thing to read what I have written. Just several months ago, I was still a strong proponent of the notion that we as humanity diminish by each one death there is in the world... And there are a lot of deaths in the world... many of them undeserved, unnatural. And that I should do something about those deaths... Change the perception of people, lead them to understanding (each other and the world around them).
Somehow that has changed. I still feel that we as humanity diminish by this acts of unneeded violence and cowardice and that there is a need for more understanding... but I feel like I have established stronger and more solid barriers - rules - to my behaviour for it not to be pushy and imperative. People should not be instructed in understanding... they need to want it. They have to arrive at the understanding by themselves. I may be able to catalyse this change but I am not willing to do this by taking drastic methods. It is the slow change, which is the strongest among changes... slow and steady.

After reading this thing again, I feel clearer about some of my values. And that's good.

However, I need to go back to the original question...
I had always seen myself as a hero... It was an archetype I have created around myself... and now, suddenly, I feel it to be wrong, as it did take over some of my life. It pushed me into decisions I sometimes did not wanted to make... to be on the front line, to be the mover of things. I want my ideas to be represented and incorporated however I need not to be the one who speaks for those ideas. I just love creating them. Creating concepts, new things, optimisations... I would even feel greater if these things would get implemented but that's not my role to play. Well, at least not entirely. :)
Maybe I also feel too much under stress with this archetype hanging over me... and I just want to get rid of it. It does mean also that I do ditch some of my personal expectations too... and that is actually an opportunity. :) To feel the void. And explore it... and let it be filled again, after I decide to do so.

Uuuuh... exciting! :D

Listening to: I have discovered a great jazz station: Jazz24 - they have an online stream and I so much enjoy it these days! Brilliant music!