Dynamics of groups (and me)

I am back. From a seminar. A group dynamics one. And it was good. I feel that I have been myself during the whole stay (it was a one-week-seminar at the University of Klagenfurt) and it made a difference... especially to the group, which consisted of really remarkable individuals. Oh my, this is getting me sentimental.

For those, who never were at a group dynamics seminar / workshop, it is a one-week experience aimed at the processes within groups. The participants are individuals with different backgrounds, nobody knows anybody else and you start. Sitting in a circle. Being silent. Everything else just happens: the first person to speak, the people to open up, to build relationships, to clarify those and provide the constituing group with a common understanding about itself. Making the group actionable.

And it also lets you learn something about yourself as it did for me. Even that it did not paint any new strokes, it did reinforce the picture I had of myself even stronger: I am hedonistic (searching for what gives me pleasure - which defines my motivation towards certain activities while others are unattractive to me (e.g. writing my thesis currently)), I am mostly reactive (I am waiting for something to happen to make my move) and I am the socialy glueing person in groups having the role of a translator or mediator as long as the group does not acquire this competence.

The question which opens up for me is how to tackle this situation. Especially the reactive attitude bothers me quite a lot. I would like to see myself as an active person (if not proactive) in some aspects. I have to think about a way to learn this by trying out new ways of behaving. I know this is not something I can change with snipping my fingers... rather seeing the long-road in front of me.

Maybe a good goal for 2006. :)